An Unexpected Turn in Life and Its Result

I took piano lessons as a child. It was my father's idea. We moved to an old house in a small town when I was 9 and it had an old piano in it. He wanted one of his kids to learn piano and I was the right age. He was a singer and it would be great if he had an accompanist in the family. So I took lessons for 6 years. I took to it pretty easily, and advanced at a good rate. When I was 11 though, I wanted to quit. I had to practice a song that I hated, Carry Me Back to Old Virginny, for the entire summer, and I rebelled, refused to practice. I remember my mother and my piano teacher had a phone conversation in front of me and decided that they would not let me quit, I had to keep taking. I sulked but managed to finally pass the piece in the fall and keep going in my studies. In Jr High, I started playing for my Dad whenever he needed me. After 9th grade, I did stop taking lessons, and just played piano for my own pleasure, and sometimes for church services.

In college I studied science-type subjects, and only played piano for fun. After college I got married, and we did not own a piano. I played whenever I could at church to help out, and also for my own pleasure. But I was without a piano in our home until my mid-30's. I was finally able to purchase an old upright when my two children were still little and then started playing daily. I got a little part-time gig playing for a contemporary Catholic choir and that built up my confidence. I found that I had a great desire to study and understand music theory, so I did at our local college, and also took piano lessons again for a year. Then suddenly mothers started coming up to me and asking me to teach their daughters piano lessons. As an experiment, I took on four students for the summer, four 8-year-old girls. By the end of the summer, three of the girls had quit, but I found that I loved to teach piano. And I haven't stopped since.

Ten years later at 45 I graduated from college for the 2nd time with a BA in music and a solid footing in my piano teaching career. I've taught over 200 students in the past 22 years, and have had many adventures and many wonderful relationships come and go in my life as a result of it all. I have played at my original student's wedding, I have attended the funerals of two of my students, I have found myself counseling a student who confessed to being raped. I'm still waiting to teach one of my students' own children, but am sure it will happen sooner or later.

So half way through my life, it did take a new direction, and I am happy for it. At 18, I really had no clue as to what I wanted to do with my life, what my passions and interests were, and I just made choices based on practicality and the influence of others. It took me awhile on this life-journey of mine to recognize what I truly loved and to pursue it. I am still on that life-journey and still learning to recognize those loves. But in looking back at where I've come from, one thing that brings a definite spark of joy to me is that my Dad in his own way helped me to choose my life path, without any clue that he had done it. He died many years ago, and I still miss him greatly, but also am greatly comforted by the music in my life, for which he and I both shared the same passion. It was one of his greatest gifts to me. Thanks, Dad! And to think, I almost quit! Thanks, Mom!

My Mother and I

I sat in the dermatologist's office this afternoon and watched while he burned pre-cancerous spots from my elderly mother's face with liquid nitrogen. A very strange and unique experience which I was nevertheless very grateful for that it could be done. I appreciated the doctor's relaxed and confident manner; it was obvious that he had done this innumerable times before and knew exactly what he was seeing and doing. My mother was somewhat uncomfortable during the procedure (who wouldn't be?) but got through it ok; and I know that the first thing she will do when she gets home is head for the mirror and try to see what the damage is. Her eyesight is poor now because of many surgeries on one eye to save it after a post-cataract surgery infection developed. Her other eye has macular degeneration developing and of course a cataract too.

I am now my mother's helper, advocate and her best friend. We talk almost everyday and have meals together at least twice weekly. She lives in an assisted living facility with about 30 other residents, has her own apartment, which gets cleaned by others, has her laundry done by others, her meals are prepared for her by others, and she is pretty much housebound unless others take her somewhere. Her world is gradually shrinking, smaller and smaller, as her physical disabilities and conditions increase and hamper her more and more. She has a heart condition and Meniere's syndrome, anxiety and depression, neuropathy too. I am her lifeline, she relies on me for almost everything. I make her doctors' appointments, and take her to them. I sit with her in exam rooms and advocate for her, asking the questions she would if she could hear better. Did I tell you she is hard of hearing too? I do her grocery shopping for her, though once in a while she feels well enough to come with me and I push her around the store in a wheel chair. On Fridays we always have lunch, either we go out or I bring lunch in, and then we watch a movie together or part of a series together. Last winter we watched the entire Christy series and the Anne of Green Gables series. Now we are working through the 1st season of Little House on the Prairie.

She is my mother, she is family, I love her, and this is part of my life now, to help take care of her, just as she took care of me and loved me a long time ago when I was little. We laugh and tell stories, recollect old memories, look at old pictures and new, watch the news together and talk about things happening now. Did I tell you that her mind is good? She takes care of her own finances and medications, unless she can't see something. She loves it during election years, loves to listen to the speeches and form her own opinions on issues. She has no signs of Alzheimers and I am so eternally grateful for that. She can have a quick wit and loves to joke around. She has a caring heart for others, but sometimes she gets so wrapped up in her ailments and depression that she forgets how lucky and blessed she is, compared to what some others her age are going through. So I remind her gently and she says, "You're right, Laurie." And she smiles.

I don't know how many years my mother has left, only God knows that, but I am so thankful for this time that I am able to spend with her, these final days and years. I wasn't able to spend this kind of time with my father before he passed away and so I am truly appreciating what I am able to do here for my Mom. I think that one thing all of us truly want when we are approaching the end of our lives is to not be alone, to have at least one person with us who loves, understands and takes care of us. And this is something that I can do for her.

Thanks for listening,
Laurie